I came here with nothing but all you have given me…
Today I opened my laptop at the local library to sooo many tabs and programs open. Organized chaos is kind of how my brain processes everything, and by the state of my desktop, I was clearly into something intense. The browser window that was in front of all the others was a YouTube search for the christian band Third Day.
I had left auto play on again, which I do often to find new songs during my work sessions. But the tune coming from my screen this time was one that hit me right in the heart. It was New Wine by Hillsong Worship.
… Jesus bring new wine out of me.
Last night, I had gotten myself so worked up that I broke into tears worrying about eternity. I don’t think I was worried that Heaven wouldn’t be great, but rather that it was literally FOREVER. One thought spiraled to another and before I knew it, I was questioning if I was truly saved by the grace of Jesus Christ.
Did I only accept Jesus into my life so that I didn’t have to go to Hell? Was I acting outwardly like a christian but inwardly still as selfish as before? Why was I letting this wonderful gift of forgiveness sit on the shelf?
So make me Your vessel, make me an offering, make me whatever you want me to be.
The gift of an only Son who lived a perfect life just to die a gruesome death for the redeeming of mankind, sits on a shelf readily accessible to all who want it until it’s taken. My roommate painted that picture for me as we talked about my anxious thoughts.
She asked to talk when she noticed I was crying. She continued to explain how perfect and lovely the heaven we are promised will be. Christians should be excited to be in the presence of their maker, not fearful of the unknown.
‘Cause where there is new wine, there is new power, there is new freedom…
On March 10, 2019 I recommitted my life, choosing to die to self daily to follow Jesus Christ.
I lay down my old flames to carry Your new fire today.
