Random Thought of the Day: Send me. On second thought. Don’t.

I was driving home from work today when an interesting thought popped into my head. Send me, Lord. Actually, on second thought. Don’t.

My roommate recently got a tattoo so I was thinking about the type of tattoo I would consider getting. I have always been intrigued by them but haven’t mustered the guts to get one yet. (But that’s a story for another time.)

If I were to get a tattoo I would want one on my wrist, as a sort of daily reminder. I have thought about getting “So will I”, part of the lyrics to one of my favorite Hillsong Worship songs. I have also thought about getting Ephesians 6:10-20 in roman numerals on my wrist. The passage it’s self is too long to have on my wrist but I want to live each day by it.

 ¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Each day I try to remember that our battle is not against the rest of the humans here on Earth, but the spirits and demons that control them. Sounds kind of crazy, I know, but that’s the magical part of having faith.

My final thought before my epiphany was to have “Here I am. Send me.” It would remind me daily that I am living for Him and my life is to honor Him. But that struck something deep down that said “HOLD UP!”

I started thinking about my current life situation and the way I have been presently living. It is not worthy of being called for God’s great mission. It is not Christ honoring in all aspects, Jesus loving and grace giving. And I wondered why in the world God would call ME, of all the other billions of people, to help build his kingdom. It really evoked some self reflection. How can I ask Him to use me, when I am not honoring him with what I already have? How could He give me more when I can’t even handle what is in front of me?

I then think of another Hillsong Worship song, Who You Say I Am. God loves me no matter what stage of life I’m at. He may give me over to my temptations at times but He still loves me and wants to use me if I am eager. So, if I am to be called to a higher place, I will remember that I am who He says I am. While I don’t feel worthy, He still welcomes me. Just as He welcomes us before we accept His already extended love.

On a quest to find my true self and deepen my faith I hope this random thought of the day provokes some self-reflection and pondering for you as well.

Stay adventurous friends!